And Insanity Reigns
by Elf from Downunder
Summary: Elf has spent far too long, safe in an isolated farm in the middle of Australia. But she shall be safe no longer. This year, fate is giving her more than she expected on her plate. Smuggling elves out of her school and trying to keep her Asian family under control wasn't exactly part of the plan. Part of the Plush Toy Collaboration, of course! Beta-read by CrackinAndProudOfIt.
1. Delivery! On the double, please!

**Credit to Tolkien, for even though he made amazing characters and then killed them off in the worst way possible in order to make me cry, he still invented the best books ever.**

**Another thanks to Duilin and CrackinAndProudOfIt for their own invention; The Plush Toy Collaboration!**

**And Crackers, I thank you for doing a wonderful job on beta reading this for me, and for correcting some mistakes (some of which were quite embarrassing!).**

**Enough talk! I present to you, my attempt at a Plushie fic!**

* * *

"And you're sure you didn't order it?"

The sound of her father's voice made her hands start to tremble. It wasn't that he was shouting, or glaring down at her. No, not at all, for he had no need to. But the sound of his mere voice was enough to intimidate the girl.

For several moments, she stared down at the oversized parcel that was found early this morning by her dogs (the eight of them had all barked mad and pounced on it). Praying she wouldn't say anything to displease her dad, she finally gave a slight nod.

"Yes … yes, I'm sure I didn't. If I did, I'd remember ordering something this … big ..."

"But it has your name on it!" her father protested.

With a sigh, and without looking at him, she knelt down to study the label on it.

_Package 1 of 5 –_ Darn it! There were more of these things to arrive?

_Addressed to: Elf from Downunder –_ And she was being stalked! How did these people know her fanfiction pen name?

_Day of activation 07-01-13 –_ Day of activation? Was there a bomb in there or something? Or maybe a robot … from Japan. But whatever it was, it had plans to function. And on the date of her birthday, no less!

"Dad … I think … I think it's a birthday gift ..." Elf managed to say, just above a whisper.

Her father continued to glare at the parcel for its trespassing. "Well, is there a return address on it?"

Elf flipped it over. She checked every corner and every side and heck, if it weren't for the masking tape, she'd have turned it inside out. But alas, whoever dumped this on the verandah last night didn't even have the decency to stick on a return address to brighten her dad's day. Even if it was only a bit.

She shook her head. "No, sorry Dad."

Her dad rubbed his temples. "Well, it's your problem, so do whatever you want with it. Just make sure you put it where I can't see it … whatever it is."

Whatever it is, indeed.

Leaving his daughter kneeling awkwardly on the rotting verandah, the morning air of winter biting at the bare skin on her exposed face as she gazed at it in wonder.

* * *

"So, my question is," started Elf's younger sister, who was sitting cross-legged on her pink covered bed. (From here she shall be known as Clare to hide her real identity).

"How did someone manage to get this thing here, of all places?"

Elf and her two younger sisters were gathered in her room, which had little space and gaudy blue walls. Those, and yes, a pink bed.

Elf bit her lip, placing her shojo manga on her desk. "I don't know," she murmured.

"I mean," Clare continued, "we live 15 miles from the nearest town! and the closest farm is 5 miles away – we have no mobile service either! We're isolated! So how can this … stalker find us and dump that -" She pointed at the parcel, which was squeezed in through the door and taking up the walking space. "- on our verandah without anyone but the dogs noticing?"

The youngest sister, Boo, was chewing absent-mindedly on the ear of Takashi, her pink plush bunny. Poor Takashi had drool running down his smiling rosey face, and cotton was already finding its way out of the fabric.

"How am I supposed to know?" Elf couldn't help but scowl at Clare.

"Oh! Oh! What's inside it, sis?" Boo instantly made a grab for the parcel.

Elf immediately reacted, swatting the younger girl's hand away. "Don't touch it! We have no idea what's inside! What if it's something dangerous?"

Clare scoffed. "Oh yeah, 'cause someone totally wants to send you a death machine ..." She stood up, giving the parcel a curious look before squeezing out of the room.

She left a negative storm cloud hovering above Elf's head, who was now as frightened as anything. What could be inside?

"Well, Boo. Should I open it then?"

Boo nodded enthusiastically, biting harder into Takashi's ear. Feeling slightly comforted, Elf leaped from the bed and left for the kitchen to retrieve a knife – Boo following close behind.

Shivering as she walked down the seemingly empty hallway, she could smell the strong scent of her mother's cooking from the kitchen.

"Hey mom," she greeted as she strided in. "Is that lunch?" she wondered, stopping to glance at her mother busily frying fish and steaming something.

The Chinese-Filipino woman regarded her daughter quickly. "Yes, are you hungry?"

"Uh-huh." Elf opened the drawer, eyes scanning for a sharp enough knife.

"Have you done laundry yet?" her mom, commonly known as Gi by friends at work, reached for something in the pantry.

Elf didn't even bother to correct her mother's sentence, knowing her English wasn't perfect.

"No, I er, will get to that later."

Gi sighed. "You always say that. Go do it now, or you forget!"

Reluctantly dismissing her current, Quest-to-Open-Mysterious-Gift', Elf groaned.

* * *

Outside, the sun was beginning to shine, which was rare in July for folk in Australia. The birds were singing in the gum trees. Elf's kelpie, Strider, was practically grinning whilst pouncing on her leg. In fact, despite the season, little yellow flowers had begun to bloom among the bushes. Who wouldn't be delighted at such a scene? Elf sure wasn't!

The girl was in the middle of hanging up drenched clothes, mumbling about how long it was going to take. Normally she didn't mind such tasks, but the thought of the birthday parcel was ever in her mind. She was impatient and eager to open it.

"Strider, off!" the girl ordered, lightly pushing his canine head away.

He still grinned, barking wildly. At this, Elf's collie, Panda, burst into the yard and tackled Strider playfully, managing to knock over the basket full of soaked clothes in the process.

Panda and Strider barked and rolled in the grass, and Elf would have laughed at the sight. But no. She just face palmed at such fate and looked at the now dirty clothes in despair._ Great. Now I have to pick it all up and rewash it. By hand … (_Now is the perfect time to give praise to your washing machine people. For broken ones have proven to be useless.)

Bending down to begin her new task, she heard the front gate open. At first she ignored it, thinking it was only her father. That was, before she heard someone clear his throat.

Elf looked up, jumping in shock to see a man in farming clothes. He stood in front of her, slightly amused at her reaction.

"G'day. You know me?"

_Erm, no, _Elf thought, rather alarmed. And embarrassed. She straightened up and stood in front of the clothes, hoping he wouldn't notice the mess.

The man laughed. "Ah, didn't think so. I live by Drain Lane, not too far from here. And I believe I have a delivery for you."

_Huh?_

"You see," the man began, "I had these strange parcels – about my height - left on me doorstep this morning. About four of 'em! To think I would order something that large!" He shook his head. "The address on it was yours, so that was all good. Don't know who this 'Elf from Downunder' chap is. But you let him know that his order has arrived, alright?"

Elf's jaw dropped, nodding.

"All good, then. Might see you 'round. Give your old man my regards, will you?"

And he left, and Elf just stood there in stunned silence, not noticing Panda and Strider dragging all the wet clothes away to chew on.

She watched the man drive down the dirt road before he disappeared altogether, after which she walked to where the parcels had been left. Her heartbeat went up when she did, in fact, see four cardboard packages, all identical to the one of this morning, lying in a pile on the verandah.

"Who was that!?" her mother called from the kitchen.

Remembering the laundry, Elf cursed before running around the yard after the dogs. Then screamed like a banshee as she saw what they had done.


	2. A Rather Deluded Girl

**Thank you Crackers, for doing another wonderful job beta-reading this ;)**

* * *

After the dramatic chase after her dogs and cleaning up of the disaster outside, Elf rubbed her freezing hands together vigorously while pacing the length of her room.

By now she was much more impatient to open the package – hold on, the _packages _that were now in one neat pile against the wall. (Elf's father had put them there when he found them lying around the lounge room.)

_I swear I didn't order anything … _The confused girl thought. Shaking her head, she decided to get it all over and done with.

Elf stood on the tip of her toes, stretching her fingers hopelessly as she attempted to grab the top parcel. She thought better of simply tugging the one at the bottom, fearing the rest would collapse on top of her.

She hastily released a frustrated huff of breath. Fuming with anger, the girl stormed out of her room and came back a moment later, dragging in a wooden chair. It felt as if fate was throwing whatever it could to prevent her from opening the boxes. But then again, her height couldn't be helped.

Standing on the chair, Elf resembled a very uncoordinated and very lost ballerina. Wobbling, she gracefully fell on her back with her arms around the top package.

"Oof!"

Brushing her knees and racing back into the kitchen to get a knife, she came back and knelt down. She cut a large incision on the box and tore the duct tape off viciously, throwing it carelessly into a corner of her room.

_This is probably the longest time it's ever taken for someone to open a parcel …_

Elf was even more frustrated to find that whatever she had been given was buried under thousands of polystyrene packaging peanuts. Quickly, and without thinking, her hands dove in greedily to find a soft item. Pulling it out, she almost dropped it back in the package. What was she holding in her now shaking hands? The girl trembled as she lifted a single, cotton-filled hand and read the label that was tied to it.

_Curufinwë Atarinkë?_

Why, it was a life-size Curufin plush toy!

"I don't believe it," she muttered.

Curufin was smiling in his plush state – although Elf found the smile rather sinister. What made it even more threatening was the plush Angrist sewed into his right hand.

"Well," Elf said, gently placing Curufin back in his bed of packaging peanuts. "At least you're not real."

With that, she eagerly grabbed the next parcel (with much more ease this time), and opened it less violently. This time the plushie was slightly taller, and his smile was gentle and kind. His hair was long and black, just like Curufin's, and he held a golden, cotton-filled harp in his hands.

"Aw, it's Maglor!" Elf smiled. She lightly poked the harp and sighed. "Too bad _you're _not real. Then you could play your beautiful music and sing."

She then gave plush Curufin a nervous glance. Just to feel a little safer, she stole a few packaging peanuts from Maglor's box and covered Curufin's evil smiling face with them.

"Now-" She leapt up. "who have we got in the next one, hm?"

The third box contained the one and only Celegorm. His smile looked dashing, even in plush form. Elf beamed.

At that very moment, Elf's rather infamous and vile cat decided to creep in. The grey cat with black stripes could hear the girl talking to herself from out in the kitchen, and if cats could roll their eyes, this one certainly would have.

This idiotic girl was talking to elves. _Plush _elves.

The cat peered into an open parcel, only to find that the plush toy's face was smothered by packaging peanuts.

"Ai! Rastus, you servant of Sauron!" Elf threw a fluffy pink pillow at Rastus, who hissed at her and sped from the room. "I should have called you Tevildo ..."

Elf opened package number four, expecting another of Fëanor's notorious sons. _Please be Maedhros, please be Maedhros, please be Maedhros, please be Maedhros …_

However, this plushie didn't seem very familiar to her. His hair was dark, and he seemed incredibly tall. His face appeared handsome and noble. She read the label that was found tied to his wrist.

"Turukáno Salafinwë?" she read, giving the elf another look before gasping in realization. "Ah! It's Turgon!"

She gently placed Turgon back in his comfy bed of polystyrene peanuts. "Why, hello there, Turgon. Now … this last one … " Elf dragged the last package – the smallest one – towards her. It couldn't be an elf … could it?

Indeed, it was not. Elf seemed confused when her hands felt the fabric. _It feels so fluffy …_

She almost shrieked with excitement as she tightly squeezed a giant, fluffy, white plush dog.

"Huan!"

Proud of herself for finally opening the boxes to receive such gifts, Elf only just noticed a letter that looked like it was drowning in the polystyrene from Huan's box.

She took it, gazed at it curiously, and wondered if this letter contained the name of the person who'd sent these to her.

Elf was on the verge of fuming as her nimble fingers somehow struggled to open the envelope. Finally, making an ugly ripping sound, she managed to take the letter out.

**Dear Elf from Downunder**

**It has come to our attention that it is your 14th birthday this year, and also one year since your joining on Fanfiction. We congratulate you for making it this far and -**

"Um, okay ..." Elf raised a brow. What exactly was that implying?

**- and would like to reward you with some special birthday gifts. These are just a few plush toys of some of the characters from your favorite book, _The Silmarillion_. They will activate on the day of your birthday. WARNING: Some will activate before others. The time range between activations varies from minutes to hours.**

_Now, _Elf thought. _I am awfully curious as to what it means by 'activate'._

**These toys will randomly and for no particular reason deactivate, and it is your responsibility to keep them alive and well. A method of reactivating them is dropping the toys in large bodies of water. Be certain to use enough water for the cotton to absorb a sufficient amount to become solid flesh again.**

Funny. Elf grew up believing that if you dropped toys in water they would most likely break, depending on what sort they were, of course. She shrugged. Oh, well. These were only plush ...

**Be careful. They are very well capable of drowning when they are activated. These toys are YOUR responsibility, and they have the right to be with you at ALL TIMES. You are stubborn and stupid so -**

_Hey! _Elf pouted.

**- so we will not sign this letter or give away our identity because there is a possibility that you will attempt to send these toys back to us. So ha. It is also not our responsibility if you somehow unfortunately die from this present.**

_Did an immature kid write this or what?_

**And by the way, if you try to abandon or murder/maim/hurt or leave them deactivated for the sake of your sanity, we will send Wargs to tear you apart and we will throw your body into the Void.**

_WHAT!?_

**P.S it took us months to find you all the way in Australia, and many of us have been injured due to your rabid dogs attacking us, so BE THANKFUL YOU RECEIVED THIS! Oh, and happy birthday.**

Elf felt sick and cast a glance at the opened packages. Whoever this person – these people might have been, they were obviously mentally unstable. Or they wanted her dead.

Surely five seemingly harmless plush toys couldn't possibly _kill _her? But that didn't matter. What irked her was that these psychologically unhealthy people knew where she lived. And they knew when her birthday was. The stalkers!

Elf dropped the letter onto her bed and walked into the kitchen to clear her head. The smell of lunch leftovers calmed her down, and she gulped as much water from the tap as she could.

_People these days, _she thought to herself. _Got nothing else to do but scare the life out of other people …_

Elf seemed relaxed enough and walked back into her room, only to sense something wasn't quite right. Packaging peanuts were scattered around one of the parcels in a disarrayed pattern. Elf shivered. _These people … can't be serious … _and she nervously peered into the package. There was nothing in there. Just a box filled with packaging peanuts and … an arm?

Elf gulped, and with a trembling hand she poked the arm. Before she could react to the skin on skin contact, long arms reached out of the box, causing packaging peanuts to fly everywhere. The arms grabbed Elf by the waist and pulled her, all the while the girl shrieked in terror. This was all followed by a childish laugh, mind you.

"Aw, sis! You're such a sulk!" Clare laughed and sat up in the parcel. The cunning younger sister was surprised she could fit in it – but then again, those plush toys were tall.

Elf stood up and almost fainted to see Clare in the box. "You – Clare you … you IDIOT! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"And it was very funny," Clare stated, before standing up, spreading more packaging peanuts everywhere.

Elf looked at the parcel, horrified to find that there was no plushie inside. "Where did you put Curufin!?" she cried in alarm.

Clare smirked. "He's in my room ..."

Giving her a shove back into the box, Elf raced into Clare's room to see Curufin slumped on a wooden chair. She dragged the plushie by the arm to her room, to find Clare gone and her room a land of squishy packaging peanuts.

_I've decided I hate packaging peanuts, today. _Elf scowled and dumped plush Curufin on the floor, before walking off to find the vacuum cleaner.

* * *

It had been two days, and so far, the suspicious plushies had not 'activated'.

Elf moaned at the sound of her mother's voice calling her to breakfast. "But Mom, it's my _birthday_," she mumbled into her pillow.

"Have your birthday at school!" was her mother's harsh reply.

Elf rolled over and looked up. She rubbed her eyes and ears and could hear the noise of the television, the frequent beep of the microwave and … a dog panting? She slowly turned her head, to receive a huge lick on the face by a slobbery tongue. Elf pushed the dog away and wiped her face in disgust. _Funny, _she thought. _That didn't look like any of our dogs. _

She rubbed her eyes again, only to see a huge, white dog seated on the other side of her bed, drooling and panting on the bright pink bed sheets.

"Holy ..." Elf frantically looked at the packages. All the plushies seemed to be there still … except Huan.

"Arf!" he barked excitedly and wagged his tail.

Elf blinked. Then she blinked again. Then she screamed.

* * *

**Thus Elf lost her sanity ...**

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for your lovely reviews! :) They made me so happy to read!**


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